About This Bundle
 
Marriages do not break or thrive primarily because of big events. They are shaped by the slow accumulation of small moments: how a difficult conversation goes, whether a bid for connection is received, how repair is made after rupture, what each partner does in the seconds after one of them is hurt. The skills that build close marriages are largely learnable. Couples who do this work, even imperfectly, across many years tend to become friends as well as spouses. Couples who don't tend to drift, no matter how good their original chemistry.
 
These twelve worksheets bring together the most useful insights from Imago Therapy (Harville Hendrix), Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (Sue Johnson), the Gottman Method (John and Julie Gottman), the Five Love Languages framework, and broader couples research. They cover communication, attachment patterns in this specific marriage, the destructive habits that erode connection, the repair skills that rebuild it, and the deeper questions of shared vision, sexual intimacy, and spiritual life together.
Christianity has always taken marriage seriously: as covenant, as sacrament for some traditions, as the picture of Christ's love for the church. These worksheets honour that weight while also offering the practical relational skills marriage actually needs day to day. Holy and ordinary; deep and small; covenantal and humanly difficult, all at once.
 
What's Included:
 
Bundle description: Twelve worksheets bringing together the most useful insights from Imago Therapy (Harville Hendrix), Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (Sue Johnson), the Gottman Method (John and Julie Gottman), the Five Love Languages framework, and broader couples research. They cover communication, attachment patterns in this specific marriage, the destructive habits that erode connection, the repair skills that rebuild it, and the deeper questions of shared vision, sexual intimacy, and spiritual life together. Designed to be done together, with structure that holds difficult conversations safely. For couples in any season; particularly useful as preventive maintenance and as a framework for ongoing growth.
01 Introduction to Marriage Work — What strong marriages have in common (daily friendship, 5:1 positive ratio, repair, soft start-ups, shared meaning) and what erodes them. A first conversation between partners about hopes, longings, and what to grow into.
02 The Imago Dialogue — Harville Hendrix's three-part structured listening practice: mirror, validate, empathise. With setup steps, common pitfalls, and a first practice topic. The communication tool that changes how couples can talk.
03 Your Attachment Pattern in This Marriage — The four adult attachment styles in marriage and the pursue-withdraw dance most distressed couples do. Identifying yours, naming the underlying fears, and practical changes for each partner.
04 Love Languages — The five love languages explained in detail with a ranking exercise for each partner, common mismatches, and a concrete plan for loving each other well in the right language this week.
05 The Four Horsemen — Gottman's four destructive patterns (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) with their antidotes. An honest inventory for each partner and a structured walk-through of a recent example.
06 Repair Attempts — In-the-moment repair phrases organised by purpose, plus a structured seven-step process for repairing larger ruptures within 24 hours. The most predictive skill of long-term marriage success.
07 Shared Values and Vision — Why shared meaning anchors marriages, with a 30-value selection exercise to compare across partners and vision questions for the long view (10 years ahead, what your marriage is for, shared rituals).
08 Conflict and the Underlying Need — Looking beneath surface arguments (dishes, money, in-laws) to the unmet need or fear actually driving them. Common surface vs underlying patterns and a walk-through for a recurring conflict.
09 Sexual Intimacy and Connection — A structured, non-explicit framework for the honest conversation many couples haven't had in years. Each partner reflects privately first, then prompts for talking together.
10 Money, Roles, and Practical Partnership — The everyday logistics where silent resentment often lives. Family-of-origin money histories, a division-of-labour chart for both partners to fill in, and decision-making patterns.
11 Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage — Praying together, talking honestly about faith, shared spiritual practices, and what spiritual life as a couple specifically requires. Includes a special note for ministry families.
12 Renewing Your Covenant — A capstone exercise for intentional vow renewal: looking back at original vows, looking honestly at the present (including unfinished business), looking forward, and writing renewed vows together. Closes with a blessing for the years ahead.